Lookbook Diary | 2021: Week 9
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Happy Monday to you all! I hope this Monday is treating you all well and you had a lovely weekend.
The weekend was a tough one for me, as it marked the day that my mum would have been 65, a landmark birthday. My mum has been passed for 13 years now and it is true that they say, that everyday does get easier as the years pass by, but the one thing that you can’t prepare yourself for is the random bouts of grief that overwhelm you for a few days, they come in waves and often are unpredicted. Mentally you prepare yourself for the typical days where you know you will feel sad, like the anniversary of their passing, your birthday, milestone moments in your life etc. However, nothing prepares you for the days, where the smallest thing can trigger you, for example, watching a person get married on television or witnessing a sweet moment between a mum and their child in the supermarket.
This is how it all started for me last week, and the feeling of sadness snowballed from the backend of the week… and even though I put into practice all the things that often make me feel better, the sadness was still there… but that’s okay, as I now know that the feelings are inevitable and it is important to make sure you give yourself time to feel, accept and embrace all those feelings even if they are hard and cause discomfort, as in the long run, the result is better and you learn to grow from these moments and understand yourself further. Many years of grief and learning has led me to this point…
So in summary, I have been working through the majority of these feelings this week and although I might not feel my mental strongest right now, I know that I have given myself a mental workout that I will be most thankful for in the long run. Today, marks the start of a new week and after allowing myself to feel all the feelings I felt last week, I will slowly resume back to myself, step by step, without the pressure I used to put on myself.
Wishing you all a very good week, full of mental strength xxx
“In these moments of heartbreaking grief, I remember the only reason we have an empty space is because we were blessed with someone who loved us so beautifully it occupied an entire part of our soul.”
– Eileen Friel
